I have to be careful these days. Even more careful than when I started this journey. Why, you ask? Because I have something to lose. You see, a year+ ago, I had everything to gain, and nothing to lose. These days, the spaces I find myself in are different. People I once was in awe of, now ask me for advice. Women I previously had a crush on txt me. I never read those messages. "Career opportunities" at "Elite" NYC Gyms feel more like a waste of time, than a real opportunity. I once felt validation by standing on stage at parties with "friends". Now a days, I find peace in a mug of ginger tea, reading James Baldwin.
Im no introvert by any means. But there is something to be said about the ability to sit. I spend many of days literally running around this city attempting to avoid it's myriad of distractions. From egos, to negative vibes, to the desires of the flesh, to flat-out laziness, and dough donuts. Sometimes a moment to ones self is as good as hitting the lotto.
As I reflect on things, it's important that i don't begin to see myself through the eyes of those looking at me. You see, at times, the result of ones achievements can distract. Distract from what's at stake, from what's important. Distract, not just from goals, but from peace of mind. This city can be pretty noisy. Amidst the hustle, everyday struggle, and the pursuit of glory, there lies a major certainty. If you start to believe what people say about you (good or bad) you might as well quit. You've already failed, the moment others begin to define your narrative. Sink or swim, right or wrong. If nothing else, do what you do with conviction. Believe in yourself, even when you're uncertain of who you are. Why? Because if you don't believe in you, why should anyone else.