KINGS BLEED TOO

Dad has been sober from drugs for 27 years of his life. His son is 30 years old. My Superhero. My King. My idol; been imperfect, been in pain. He's been dealing with issues of loneliness, abandonment, self-worth, depression, and identity. Dad went on to have 4 sons. All 4 of them different, like the 3 different Mothers who birthed them. One of them, like his Father is, like his Mother is, was always into something. He sang in the church choir. He played the lead role in all the school plays, and always stood out whenever he had a ball in his hands.

He always kept a journal, just like his Mother. He was always writing/expressing his voice thru scribbled words only he could read. These days he still writes, as does his Mother. 30 years of pain. 30 years of joy. 30 years of tears. This is his story so far. Kings Bleed Too. Welcome to his fears.

i REMEMBER

 

i REMEMBER…

LIVING IN QUEENS, but dying every time I looked in the mirror.

Being in LOVE, but Knowing I was miserable.

Totaling a Lexus on the Belt Pkwy, and waking up to no one coming to see me in the hospital.

I remember sleeping in Jason's car.

Sleeping in the gym of my ex girlfriends Buffalo loft. Wouldn't ask her to stay over bc...pride.

Not asking for help.  I remember not listening to my mother say "Come home".

Getting punched by a women I loved. 

Failing my 7th grade biology class, a marking period after I received an A.

Feeling like I had to lie about my life, so that I could fit in.

Telling someone I love, that that they're my best friend, but I can't be with them.

Seeing my mother lay in pain, and having to clean her bc the nurses at Coney Island Hospital sucked. 

Praying for money.

I remember Coach Ruben Sanchez.

I remember my father, and his journey.

Jenay and Jhonei, and why they're both important.

I'll never forget Aunt Marry.

I remember fighting falling in love.

...

I run. 

Now I love.

Now I understand the lessons. 

I'm not there yet, but I've grown.

I'm happy. I'm content. But more importantly, I remember. The good, the horrific, the beginning.

The pain, the losses.

The hard way.

I remember.